D-War: Dragon Wars - Review

?Dragon Wars? is a peculiar animal. When I saw the first TV spot I figured it was for another Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie like ?Mansquito? or ?Boa vs. Python?. I had no idea that this thing was actually going to get a national theatrical release when it looked, felt and smelled like something brewed for the straight-to-video market. To my surprise, the movie was still bad, but it wasn?t Sci-Fi Channel bad. It was cheesy and stupid with poor effects and even poorer acting, but there was something about it that was just kind of cool.

Oh yeah, it was the dragons.

According to an ancient Korean legend, two dragons (one good and one evil, naturally) will wage a war every five hundred years for the soul of a special human which will grant them passage to the heavens to be reborn as a Celestial Dragon. Baraki, the evil dragon, has summoned his army of demonic followers to hunt down Sarah (Amanda Brooks), the bearer of the ancient power. Her reincarnated guardian, Ethan (Jason Behr), has made it his job to protect her?from gigantic eighty story-tall serpents that eat helicopters. Good luck with that.

The story for the movie is so thin, empty and obvious that one would think it was originally conceived as a Saturday Morning Cartoon geared to sell a ?D-War? toyline. Indeed, the characters and monsters all seem like they stepped out of a two-dimensional toy commercial/cartoon from the 80?s and don?t really try to get any deeper than that. Even if writer/Director Hyung-rae Shim had received a bigger budget, this movie would have only been marginally improved.

Still, the effects surprised me. They?re better than most of the CG debacles that the Sci-Fi Channel pumps out on a monthly basis, but a far cry from anything that deserves to be shown in a movie theater. The dragons all look pretty fake, but what manages to make the scenes involving them watchable isn?t so much the special effects as it is Shim?s cinematography. It?s very dynamic, exciting and thankfully doesn?t imploy ?shakey cam? techniques too often. So even when the monsters look like they stepped out of a Playstation 2 game, the camera work during the action sequences and the epic scale of a few of the shots makes them?acceptable.

Obviously, no one is going to see this movie for the sappy love story or any of the cardboard humans. When you?re lead human villain looks so much like Steve Martin that it distracts you from giant screaming behemoths, then you know there must be a casting problem. The action in ?Dragon War? is honestly kind of satisfying if you can get past the sub-standard special effects. My various Godzilla reviews on this site should give you a hint that I?m partial to movies where giant monsters plow through cities, so I was rather pleased with what I got. The final battle between the good and evil dragons at the film?s climax was admittedly pretty sweet.

I can?t recommend that you pay $10 bucks to see this in the theater. Under normal circumstances, giant monster movies are always better on the big screen, but ?D-War? reeks of a straight-to-video flick that somehow got lucky. So wait to rent it if you really want to watch it.

Grade: D+

Mr. Woodcock - Review

While it?s been a fairly good year for blockbuster films, 2007 has been absolutely abysmal in the comedy department. I?ve run the gamut of nearly all genres these past nine months and of all the films I?ve watched, I think I?ve seen maybe two or three okay comedies, and even fewer good ones. ?Mr. Woodcock? ranks among the very poor, which leaves me even more resentful, considering the New Line Cinema marketing department decided to pimp the ever living crap out of this movie, welding the trailer onto practically every film I?ve gone to see for the past three months.

John Farley (Seann William Scott) used to be a pudgy nobody in high school, ruthlessly humiliated by his sadistic gym teacher, Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton). Thirteen years later, John has grown into a successful young man thanks to his self-help novel about releasing painful memories. When he returns home, though, he discovers he?s up for the ultimate test, as his mom (Susan Sarandon) is dating his arch nemesis, Mr. Woodcock. Woodcock hasn?t changed at all in thirteen years and continues to make John?s life a living nightmare even as an adult.

Although I try to go into movies with as unbiased a perspective as humanly possible, I can?t deny that the marketing onslaught for this thing made me go into the theater with a rather nasty chip on my shoulder. Still, even if I hadn?t been bitter and cross toward the flick beforehand, I highly doubt I would have enjoyed ?Mr. Woodcock? anyway. It is a very light comedy, with the jokes either being stale and boring or just not really jokes at all. It plods along with its story but feels entirely bland all the way through.

I have nothing against Seann William Scott, Billy Bob Thornton or Susan Sarandon. I think they?re all capable of being funny or endearing depending on the script and the crew?but ?Mr. Woodcock? was not a good showcase for their talents. I suppose Thornton?s portrayal of the title character got the most laughs out of the audience and he certainly is the film?s highlight, pale though it is. Scott, on the other hand, plays little more than your typical comedy straight-man thrown into a wacky predicament leaving you to predict his every move or reaction. Meanwhile, Sarandon?s mother character is entirely forgettable.

If you?re looking for a good comedy, you honestly aren?t going to find it in ?Mr. Woodcock?. Also, a message for New Line Cinema: Please, please, please show some variety with your trailers. Just because you attach the damn trailer to every movie seeing release for a span of two months that does not guarantee people are going to like it.

Grade: F

3:10 to Yuma (2007) - Review

Aside from possibly Romance, I can?t think of a single genre that bores me quite as much as Western. Cowboys on horseback, grimy saloons, sun-bleached deserts?pretty much everything that makes the Western genre unique and romantic simply puts me to sleep. However, after watching ?3:10 to Yuma? I have decided to completely rethink my opinion on Westerns. ?3:10 to Yuma? was hands down one of the most outstanding pictures I?ve seen all year and a real surprise to me, someone who admittedly avoids the Western genre like the plague.

Life isn?t easy for homesteaders out in the Old West. No one knows this better than Dan Evans (Christian Bale) and his family, who are about to be kicked off their land if they can?t pay their debts. Then in rides Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) and his gang of outlaws who, after a stagecoach robbery, wind up fleeing the town and leaving their boss behind. Wade is to be taken a few towns over to ride the 3:10 to Yuma prison and Evans takes the job escorting him there in order to save his land. The trek won?t be easy, with obstacles such as Wade?s gang, Indians and Ben Wade-himself getting in the way.

I wasn?t originally planning to see this movie this month, but the choice came down to either ?3:10 to Yuma? or ?Dragon Wars? and so I chose what I figured to be the lesser of two evils. I am extremely pleased with my choice, as ?3:10 to Yuma? proved to be one of the more exciting, well-scripted and well-cast films I?ve sat through all year, Western be damned. As I found out only recently, it?s actually a remake of a 1957 film that I?d never heard of, so I won?t be able to draw any comparisons between the two for you or say which one is ?better?. All I can tell you is that this is a fantastic flick which you?d be wise to check out, whether you enjoy Westerns or not.

Christian Bale has really been hitting a string of bullseyes for the past few years, with this movie just being his next direct hit. He makes Dan Evans out to be a truly complex and endearing hero that compliments Russell Crowe?s ?lovable villain? quite nicely. Crowe, as we already know, is a fine actor and delivers another stellar performance as Ben Wade. I?m the kind of guy who typically prefers villains over heroes since they?re always more fun. Crowe?s Wade really makes the movie, as he both helps and hinders his captors all throughout the film, doing devilish things but in such a charming manner you just can?t hate him for it.

I may not be an expert on Westerns, but from my experience I?ve come to understand that what the audience is really waiting for is the ?showdown? at the end. Evans and Wade?s run for the train at the end is mesmerizing, keeping you with that ?are they gonna make it?? voice yammering on in your head the whole way. And the ending is absolutely perfect.

As someone who unashamedly dislikes Westerns, even I can?t pretend for a second that this wasn?t a fantastic movie. It?s got a great cast (I only mentioned the two headliners, but there are plenty more in here to impress you) and an enthralling story. I have a good feeling you?ll want to see this movie even if you don?t want to see this movie.

Grade: A

Ghostrider with Nicholas Cage

I’m a big fan of movies based on comics, especially the Marvel stuff nowadays, as it tends to be pretty good.

I’m also familiar with the Ghostrider comic, although I never read more than a couple of issues, so I waslooking forward to seeing the movie…

The special effects are pretty cool, but the whole thing was let down for me because there never really seemed any doubt that the Ghostrider was going to win, so the movie never really “grabbed me”.

It’s not one of Nicholas Cages best performances, but then the plot, scenes and dialogue he had to work with were unlikely to stretch him, at all.

If you’re just looking for a Marvel super hero action movie that’s not going to tax you’re brain (at all), then I guess it’s ok, but don’t expect much.

Lionsgate Releases ‘Saw 4′ Teaser Movie Trailer

I have to admit I stopped watching the Saw movies after the first one, but this one’s for all you true fans out there.

Lionsgate has just released a new teaser movie trailer for the upcoming Saw 4 & man is it gory.  Consider yourself warned is all I am trying to say. 

Catch the teaser here.

‘John Rambo’ Movie To Be Released January 25, 2008

Well, we finally have an official date on the upcoming release of Sylvester Stallone’s John Rambo.

January 25, 2008 is the date to save for this Lionsgate film, which is rather interesting since January isn’t such a hot month for movies.  Wishing the best of luck to this kiss of death movie all the same though.

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my favorite TV shows

The TV rcording boxes (Tivo, Sky Plus etc.) have changed the way I watch TV, as I can now just watch my favorite programs when I feel like it and not worry about missing anything, unless my wife has set something new up that causes a “clash”…

I’ve actually found I end up watching less TV, as I’ve always got a backlog of my favorite shows, I’ve become a lot fussier about what I spend time watching, so what do I take the time to sit down and relax with….?

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - This is pretty damn good, it’s not just funny, but topical and quite clever, with an ongoing plot that’s actually got a little depth to it.

Boston Legal - This has been a fav of mine since I caught the first series, and it’s  managed to make it through to season four without loosing to much of it’s “freshness” and humor. It’s probably the best acting I’ve ever seen William Shatner do and James Spader has always been a favorite of mine. The collection of other “oddball” and classic stereo type characters and storylines add to the humor, as well as delivering a message. Well worth watching.

Heros - I’ve only recently got in to this series since it’s come to terestrial TV, as I missed the first season on satelite, and I find myself eagerly awaiting the next step in the plot. It’s good that it’s more about the story than the “powers”, as it could easily have gone the way of many “sci-fi” series and turned in to just a “cult” show.

Top Gear - as a bit of a “petrol head” this has always been a favorite, and Clarkson, “hamster” & Captain slow continue to deliver a program about cars that is so much more. Their weekly races and “tasks” are just hilarious!

Las Vegas - this is another show that I missed the first couple of series and am now playing catch up with, but it’s move Vegas several places up my list of “places to visit”. No, that doesn’t mean I’m expecting Vegas to be like the show, but I am looking forward to soaking up the atmosphere of a real Casino one day.

Two & a Half Men - This show makes me laugh evertime I watch it. The interplay between the characters is simply wicked.

It seems comedy shows are still my favorite, but then laughter is good for you right…